1.04

I have stopped writing as much as I use to...it’s strange really, once upon a time this blog contained every thought, every defiant moment, every heartache and every dream I had and nowadays it's almost empty. Is it because I no longer have the time to waste writing my silly fleeting thoughts on a blog because it does not mean anything to me anymore? Maybe! But in the time I have stopped to document my life’s details on this "silly blog" have I really been doing anything that is much more worthy of my time. I honestly don't know if I have. The past two years have come and gone so quickly that I feel I have not even had the chance to embrace them properly or utilize the time I have had to the best of my ability. It's kind of crazy how one minute you’re this naive kid with the world at your feet and BOOM your an "adult". You’re at this point where you no longer can carry around that carefree, "worry about it tomorrow" kind of attitude. Life seems a lot more still these days, the things that once use to excite me and thrill me no longer do, the moments seem emptier or less relevant. My self-worth and esteem have become even more dwindling since high school in some ways. I have grown up, I am more realistic, more insightful and understanding but none of that really matters in the big scheme of things, in fact sometimes I think it makes it worse. Ignorance is bliss after all they say. Ever waiting for that monumental moment  and epiphany of some sort when something happens to decide whether or not you’re gonna make it in this lifetime or not, ever waiting  for that certain someone who shakes your entire being to the core and makes you forget all the bullshit. To be honest I am just rambling, I cannot sleep and it has been a while since I was an insomniac but my thoughts all of a sudden a running at me from every possible direction. So I think it’s time I start to filter them out again on here.