i miss it.

This picture reminds me of our holiday, our first and only holiday,

it was lovely but now it is just a distant memory in my mind

along with all the other twisted and foggy memories i have of you, both good and bad.

Sometimes i feel as if i never will be able to be as close to someone in that way like i was with you,

I try i really do, believe me but i can't let anyone else in the way i did you.
I miss knowing everything about you, i miss being young and in love as corny as it sounds, i miss how comfortable i felt and safe with you, i miss the moments upon moments i shared with you, i miss believing in what you told me, i miss that secure feeling that i had you, i miss you surprising me with how sweet you could be, i miss those times when you sat there with all sincerity and told me you loved me and then would list all the reason why, i miss how much sober fun we had together, i miss your family, i really miss holding your hand and laying in your arms,

you were the only one who ever really got me and understood me

and now it's like you don't get me at all.

I try not to think about it ,about us but it is always there in the back of my mind, i know i hurt you and i will never forget that or truly forgive myself for how i changed you, but you need to remember how much and how long i have been hurting too, i hate the way you abuse your mind and you know what i mean when i say that and no matter what i say i can't change it, you just take it as a personal attack. It's been a week since we have spoken properly and it feels like forever

and I'm sorry that i had to leave, but i gave you everything i had, i always have,

but it's not fair anymore, and i feel lonelier then ever,

and now i don't even know if any of it was real, you just hide so much from me

when all i want to do is share everything with you again

and sometimes i question if all these moments were just figments of my imagination

or for you just something you share with mutiple people it seems that way anyway...

i guess i'll never know

but basically i just wanted to let you know i really do miss you,

but it just feels like nothing is going to change on your behalf so whats the point ...