Hiding my heart away.

"I woke up feeling heavy hearted
I'm going back to where I started
The morning rain, the morning rain
Although I wish that you were here
That same old road that brought me here
Is calling me home, It's calling me home
I wish I could lay down beside you
When the day is done
And wake up to your face against the morning sun
But like everything I've ever known
You disappear one day
So I spend my whole life hiding my heart away..."

Love this song and these versions of it..

O.D.B . R.I.P

Wu-tang vs Beatles

Chaka

Hermitude-Threads

Unfortunatley I like this...

2012...

Otis Redding

Adios 2011!!!

In a blink of an eye, the year has come and gone faster then the last,everything that mattered last year doesn't anymore and I'm sure soon it will be the same case for this upcoming one. This year for me was meant to be about self discovery, figuring out what I want from life, from the people around me and most importantly myself and to be honest I don't think I am fully satisfied with what I have discovered so far. Although this year I have laughed, I've cried, I've been scared, overwhelmed,found, euphoric, angry,frustrated,lost,envious, contempt, crazed, loved, supported, misunderstood, understanded, appreciated, invisible, adored, fallen in love,broken,hurt,rejected and been rejected. All the above good and bad life changing experiences yet I feel like I am still standing still year after year, everyone else is moving on and I'm still just here where ever "here" is where I started, every year I take a few steps forward and then somehow start walking backwards back to the start. This year I feel a change is going to come and a big one at that and if it does not then I may just believe that I have given up. Given up on myself and all those long lost dreams and desires that have somehow been forgotten over the years. This year if anything, has shown me what a lonely place the world can be, it's not necessarily that I'm alone it's the fact that I am on my own. For this new and fast approaching year, I hope to realize to be alone with ones self and truly like the company that you can keep in those empty moments, because at the end of the day no matter how hard you fight it, it's inevitable you only have yourself to rely on and nobody else and that is a fact I will not only come to terms with that this year but I will also embrace it with my arms wide open

I Can't Wait For You!

Every time I close my eyes to go to sleep I pick out my favourite memory of us. Of you.
Sometimes it is when I was lying on you and we were laughing so hard that we laughed even more

just because it was so fun to laugh. Your smile.
Sometimes it is when we hung out for the first time.
Sometimes it is when we used to lie in your bed and snuggle.

Chest to chest, arms around each other, legs tangled and cheek to cheek. The way you smell.
Sometimes it is when we wrestled and ended up on the floor with me on top.

Winning. Even though I know that you would easily beaten me. Your generosity.
Sometimes it is when we were on our way home to your place after a night out, both drunk.
The way you made me feel about myself when I was with you.
Sometimes it is when we were walking and you suddenly took my hand

as it would have been the most natural thing in the world. How much you mattered to me.
But most of the time it is the last time we kissed. Because I know that it was the last time.
You are starting university for three years in 3 months and thats a long time to be apart.But that was not exactly the reason we broke up the reason to me is still a bit fuzzy.
You gave me yourself for only a little while so I feel stupid for feeling this or better yet writting it down but the pains the only thing left to let me know maybe just maybe it was real and could have been something more. Eitherway regardless I have no control of my emotions and so...I’ll miss you, I already do so much and I will never forget you

even if thats what I want right now.
But I can’t wait for you. Mostly because I can't wait for someone that doesn’t know what he wants. I told you how I felt but you never told me what you felt. I can only guess and I’m guessing – as much as I’m hoping- that you feel the same way I do for you. But guessing and hoping is not something that will keep me waiting for you. I would need you to confirm it. I would need you to say that you love me back. But you can’t and that is why I can’t wait for you.
I’m sorry and I hope life will treat you well...

Sly

**

*

Sinking Feeling

"the sweet words flow and everything is fine and as soothing as things where, we were like the titanic. We graced through the water, we didn't see the iceberg coming, we felt it hit. We sank, so quick. One minute we were in love the next he was doubting. From someone who claimed that I was perfection in their eyes, from someone who stated they never wanted me to leave, he left. He tossed me aside, feelings invested, heart claimed, he left. He said we needed a break, said he wasn't feeling what we had anymore. And for so long I blamed myself, so many tears have I spilled. So many bruises cover my heart.So I wonder will you ever stop dead in your tracks and want to run back to me? Will sorrow fill you up and tip you over and have you trying to wipe away all the sadness that has filled you up? Will you miss me and my love, my heart? Was that the best choice you made? To leave someone who loves you, because truth be told, I still yearn for you. And I don't know if my heart will remain in the same spot you dropped it at. Will you be afraid when someone else has picked it up?..."
-Le Love

Goodby My Luckless Romance.

One & Only

"You've been on my mind
I grow fonder every day,
Lose myself in time Just thinking of your face
God only knows Why it's taking me so long To let my doubts go
You're the only one that I want I don't know why I'm scared,
I've been here before Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all,
You never know if you never try To forgive your past and simply be mine
I dare you to let me be your, your one and only Promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me the chance To prove that I'm the one who can Walk that mile until the end starts
Have I been on your mind? You hang on every word I say,
lose yourself in time At the mention of my name,
Will I ever know how it feels to hold you close? And have you tell me which ever road I choose you'll go
I know it ain't easy Giving up your heart ..."
-Adele

A Day Spent Waiting.

"You caught my heart for the evening"

"We spent the whole night worshipping each other’s bodies, it felt good, and I finally felt free. We talked and we laughed and when we checked the time we had been locked in my room for 6 hours, the time had flown by, it had felt like 1 hour. All the pain and frustration that I had been holding onto disappeared, you made me feel whole again. Your touch, your smile, your love gave me back what I had been missing. Who knew that a perfect stranger could cure a broken heart? We weren’t ready for the night to end but what were we suppose to do? We said our good byes and talked about how we would one day meet again, both knowing it was unlikely, neither of us wanted to spoil the moment. After you left I laid in my bed smelling the scent of your cologne wondering if I would ever see you again, I couldn’t sleep I was too excited thinking about the events of the night. It's been a week and I have been thinking about you. I thought I would feel regret or remorse for having a one-night stand but I feel invigorated, I feel whole. I write this because I want to say thank you Mr. one night stand for giving me a piece of myself

back that I have been searching for. I will never forget you."

Le Love #4

"I don’t know how or where to start but I need to change. I need to get over the things that have happened to me in the past. I need to be alone, without a man in my life to depend on, for once and work on bettering myself. Being alone has been my biggest fear since I was a child, even if for a short time. I need to face that fear. I need to learn to trust myself before I can ever trust anyone else and have a happy relationship.
To everyone I’ve ever hurt, I am so sorry. I hope you forgive me one day"

-Le Love

Back in my Brain

You are the wasted thoughts

and the pain at the back of my mind...

DAYS PAST.

Thankyou for this day.
Thankyou for days past.
Thankyou for this day
Thankyou for everyday to come

They wandered over drugs and alcohol
In the memory of
What it really is
To have a soul

Opposite sides of the track
Same suburbs
Strangers turn friends
Then saviours turn lovers

And he scared her a little bit
Never did quite understand
To clear her fear
Of the intimate

But she scared him a little more
Been searching for so long
Afraid he may of found
What he was looking for

She wasn’t sure at first
Cos she’s learnt
When you play with fire
That you might get burnt.

But somewhere between
The cigarettes and late night TV
She found a reason to believe
In what might be

It’s like hazel eyed …..
Seek shelter from the storm
Cleaver brunette likes to read
Stays awake until the break of dawn

Just a mother’s son
And the fathers daughter
Trying to build some paradise
Within a life of disorder.

He got DP was living for that couple of minutes
After they kissed
And he could still taste her lips on his

But all of this is just a little bit much for me
How’d some drunken fun turn into a love story

ohhhhhhh
Ain’t it funny how time flies?
A few months can feel like a lifetime

So caught up in the game
He don’t even realise
That he’s watching from complacency
And it’s taking it’s toll

Now each day that fades
Watch the flames turn cold

They never fight
To afraid of what might get said
Instead,
Silence screaming for help under her breath

Sharing a cold bed
And some silent phone calls
It’s scary how quickly
The rise can turn to fall

Until the day arrives
(I don’t really know how to say this)
But on the inside, his world turned black
Moments running through his mind
And if he could then he’d take it all back

Now she can’t sleep
She stays awake
Dreams of better days
When he wrote her love letters
And the weather didn’t seem so gray

Business as usual
Her coping mechanism
Finds comfort in the fact
That others still find her beautiful

And as the seconds
Turn minutes
Turn days
Turn weeks
Lovers revert to strangers
They don’t even speak

The king of the blues
The queen of the street
Now the kingdom lies in ruins
Break-up songs on repeat

Now he misses her touch
And the sound of her voice
Everyday she wakes up
Wishing he made a different choice

Another failed attempt
To capturing the beauty
Till he finds himself alone
Listening to shhh…

Co-author in the story
The first chapters written
But you gotta wonder
If it’s really finished

Old man sorrow
Come to keep me company

Thankyou for this day.
Thankyou for days past.
Thankyou for this day
Thankyou for everyday to come
-Horrorshow

Young Loves Joys.

"You should be stronger than me
You been here 7 years longer than me
Don't you know you supposed to be the man,
Now pay a little attention to who you think I am,

You always wanna talk it through - I don't care!
I always have to comfort you when I'm there
But that's what I need you to do - stroke my hair!
Cos' I've forgotten all of young love's joy,
Feel like a lady, but you my lady boy,

You should be stronger than me,
But instead you're longer than frozen turkey,
Why'd you always put me in control?
All I need is for my man to live up to his role,
Always wanna talk it through - I'm ok,
Always have to comfort you every day,
But that's what I need you to do - are you gay?

I've forgotten all of young love's joy
Feel like a lady, but you my lady boy

He said 'the respect I made you earn -
Thought you had so many lessons to learn'
I said 'You don't know what love is - get a grip!' -
Sounds as if you're reading from some other tired script

I'm not gonna meet your mother anytime
I just wanna rip your body over mine
Please tell me why you think that's a crime

I've forgotten all of young love's joy
Feel like a lady, but you my lady boy "

Q and Norah!

Tell Me-Groove Theory

New School Ain't So Bad!

Secret #1

"There it goes again. That heavy feeling in your chest when you don't feel any desire to speak or move. All you want to do is close your eyes and sleep, because the process of being broken is incredibly exhausting. You attempt your best to make your days fulfilling but no matter how hard you try you can't seem to connect to anyone or anything"

Feelin a lil bit gaga latley but..

Shall we remove thy tampon together?

Shit Happens!

I'm sick of feeling guilty about it! I made mistakes! I fucked up! I could have made better choices! I didn't!!! But I did learn some valuable lessons indeed. So unless you have a fucking time machine for me you can shut up

or alternatley you could just move on I know I have!

ticktock

"All my life, I've been in and out of relationships. Bad guys, good guys, obsessive guys, nice guys, I've dated them. Last Dec, I ended the last relationship after he turned possessive, because I knew I didn't have a future together with him.

I was weak. All my life I was weak, foolish, and dependent. I'm glad to say that in the year 2011, I grew up. I stayed single for the longest time I could remember. I didn't have a guy to fetch me anywhere I wanted, to dine with at any restaurant I craved for, to take me out shopping when I demanded, or watch a movie with me when I
felt like it.

And it's been the best teacher I could ever have. Sure there were lonely moments, low moments. There were weak moments I wished ever so badly I had a good and loving boyfriend. But everyday I grew a little stronger. Everyday, I grew more at ease with myself, I complained less and I loved my family and friends a little more.

I know that someday I will love again. But I'm not going to sit around and wait impatiently for that day to come. I'm not going to rush into yet another relationship that isn't going to last, just because he smiled at me and gave me butterflies. I'm going to live life to the fullest, and appreciate the little things in life.

Because I know that one day, the wait will be worth it. "
-Le Love

letsmakeout!letsmakeout!letsmakeout!

Fuck It!

Old Habits Die Hard...

“She and I were still friends, but not best friends, not like we used to be. But we were still friends. She’d known me my whole life. It’s hard to throw away history. It was like you were throwing away a part of yourself.”

—	Jenny Han, The Summer I Turned Pretty

"I can't do this anymore. I love you so much. I miss you everyday. I've been wondering if you've been thinking about me... will you ever want me again? will you every love me again like you did? These are questions I ask myself over and over again, but they're questions that will never be answered at this point. I can't keep wondering anymore. It's not fair that you've moved on and I have been stuck in the same spot, afraid to move. I know I'm doing it to myself, I have been for far too long. Even though the thought of not speaking to you scares me, I have to do it for myself. I can't be your friend and act like I'm okay when I'm not just for the sake of still having you in my life... You used to tell me you would never get over me, that you could see yourself with me for a very long time. If those feelings were strong and true then they must still be in you and maybe one day you'll be able to express them again. But I have to stop thinking about how it was with you because its gone.. I feel like a fool for holding on this long. Am I a fool? Or a person who is just truly in love? I have to let you go. I've been avoiding this for four months and I know I could probably keep it up for a long time but I need to be strong and take this stand... Thank you for being one of the greatest things that came into my life. Thank you for teaching me so much about myself. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. I can never hate you because I know that everything you did was out of love, but I hate that it had to end. I even hate that I can't wish or hope you will come back to me anymore. Talking to you and seeing you will just set me back no matter how much I tell myself it won't.
I miss you so much & I always will.
I hope you accomplish every goal you set for yourself, I hope you figure out everything you were unsure about, and I hope above all that you are happy.
I wish I could be there to see it all happen.
But the reality is, you left me
& now its time for me to let go.

I will always love you,"
-LE LOVE

a note that you wrote....

CELAPRAM

"One of these days I'm gonna shut my eyes forever,
So tired of seeing whats wrong with life,
As much as I wish that I got along better with these people.

I've heard it written, that ever y flower withers,
So I carve up my palm just to bleed these inscriptions.
Sometimes it's a given, sometimes it's not,
And we struggle with the pieces to the puzzle of the plot.
And all I see on my CD shelves are the pieces of me that probably need help,
Like I don't eat good, so I've always got the hunger pains,
I bust a phrase to escape cause I'm feeling stuck for days,
Nothing changes but the mother fucking date.
It's such a shame, see the structure crumble and fade,
Until you're left with nothing but some dust on the plate.
Life gets ugly, writing rhymes to Jeff Buckley,
A cold and broken Hallelujah for this crash test dummy.
I can accept in the past I've been the first to cry,
Now I'm hoping I'll be the last to laugh.
In this paradox of non- existence,
Where the oxygen we breathe to live corrodes our bodies and kills us,
If I could hold my breath for eternity, then I'd live forever but never deliver these words I speak.
I can't do this anymore Mum,
Sick of the baggage under my eyes, the vanity of my forearms,
I hate my body, it's just a shell for my soul,
And my songs will live on long after my bell has been tolled.
And would you even cry, could you move on with your life,
Or would you need to know the reason why?
I'm feeling grand and poetic,
Might take the Kurt Cobain route, and blow my fucking brains out.
There, I said it.
Sometimes I need to talk to someone, I'm just not sure who,
That feeling of the morning after, the locked-jaw blues,
And I can't write about the breakup, been numb for too long,
Everyday is like a break down, I can't seem to move on.
So what I crack a few smiles, it's all futile.
The grey space, hip-hop, beyond blue star.
Waiting for the beat to stop in this game of musical chairs,
I'm just a kid tryna make something beautiful.

Don't you think that there's a reason why? "

HORRORSHOW

Freedom

Just A Lil Bit

"Hands down I'm too proud, for love But with eyes shut It's you I'm thinking of But how we move from A to B it can't be up to me Cause I don't know Eye to eye Thigh to Thigh I let go I think I'm a little bit Little bit A little bit in love with you But only if you're a little bit Little bit Little bit In lalalala love with me Oh ah And for you I keep my legs apart And forget about my tainted heart And I will never ever be the first to say it But still I, yes you know, I..I..I.. I would do it Push the button Pull the trigger Climb a mountain Jump off a cliff Come here, stay with me Stroke me by the hair Cause I would give anything Anything To have you as my man I think I'm a little bit Little bit A little bit in love with you But only if you're a little bit in lalala love with me..."

Lykke Li