give up or give in.

Do you ever feel like you don't care anymore?...you'd don't care what happens to you good or bad, you don't care if you break someones heart or loose another friend, or how distant and disconnected you become to all the people around you. You feel like this not by choice but because you feel you have to have this attitude towards things, so you can surround yourself with this false sense of security that nothing really matters you should just put up with it, so you build your self a wall, a barrier around your heart so you can at least pretend that you are strong that nothing gets to you or effects you anymore. You spend all your time you have left trying to fix the past, or focus on the future, or rise above it all get your head screwed on straight again from that time that very long time where you were weak and fragile only to fail once more. All your hard work and positive thinking flushed down the drain. Sometimes i feel like this i feel like giving up maybe not give up but just...give in?.